Chapter Text
A few days later, two days before you're supposed to meet up again with Erwin and Hange, the Jack of Clubs and the King of Diamonds both go down.
The next day, when you go up to the roof of your apartment building to reassess, the Queen of Clubs is also down. That leaves you with three: the Queen and King of Hearts, and the King of Spades. None of which you want to try and handle.
You've gotten into the habit of coming up to your rooftop in the morning with the tea that Levi makes you. You enjoy the peace of the morning, the quietness of the city- even with those massive blimps looming over the horizon. Although there's been significantly less of those as of late, which makes the view much more enjoyable.
You hate that the three left were suits 'assigned' to you and Levi, though. Obviously, there's no way that the four of you- Erwin, Hange, you, and Levi- should be singlehandedly responsible for taking down every blimp. There's got to be hundreds of other people here. But all of the clubs and diamonds are gone, and you can't help but feel a bit guilty.
You ponder it a bit more as you make your way back down the stairs. You're meeting Erwin tomorrow. Should you try and do one before then, or?...
Levi's made the decision for you. When you come back into your apartment, Levi's dressed to go out. "Are we going somewhere?" you ask, frowning.
"We, no. Just me." He grabs a backpack- it's light. Empty. "Need more food, going to see what I can find."
"Oh. I can come," you offer, setting your empty mug down.
He takes your mug and brings it to the sink. "It's fine. You should rest. Read your book- you haven't touched it."
"Oh, come on, don't pretend you haven't been enjoying me reading to you," you scold, crossing your arms. "I don't mind. It'd be kind of fun, you know- to make it all the way through and then do book three with you. When neither of us knows what's coming."
Levi rolls his eyes. "Yeah, right. There's no way you could start reading that and not finish it in one sitting."
You grin. "Guess we'll have an all-day reading marathon, then."
"Going to need more snacks for that." He's smirking as he leans toward you, and Levi kisses you briefly before he slides past you. "What way was the king?"
It's absolutely wild how one brief kiss still gives you so many butterflies. "Uh- north," you say quickly. "So don't go that way."
You hear the door close to indicate that he's gone. You smile stupidly to yourself; then, you wander to go find your book.
Curling up with Levi in bed and going through your book, chapter by chapter, has been a fun treat for the past few days. You keep thinking he's going to get sick of you doing nothing but talking, but he seems content to listen and never interrupts you unless it's to complain about something a character is doing.
Itisnice to finally get to your own book though. You grab a fuzzy blanket, the book that Levi's now found for you twice, and you head to your armchair.
Your chair is in the perfect spot next to the window to allow the sunlight to pour into your living room and brighten up the pages of your book. You curl up in your chair, wrapping your blanket around you, and you try to focus on your book.
It's not easy; your thoughts keep drifting back to Levi. Is he okay? You haven't been separated since... since that day he went on a run to get this book for you in the first place. That feels like ages ago.
Hm. Have you really not ever been apart? Not that you mind, of course, but...
You're four chapters in when you're broken out of your trance by the sound of gunfire.
Your instincts kick in. You throw yourself out of your armchair and away from the window, pressing yourself flat up against the wall. Your heart is a jackhammer in your chest, your book is discarded on the floor, and your hands are rising to cover your ears as the gunfire continues.
It's close. Close enough to be very, very loud.
Okay. What is it? Is it a random street brawl, or is it the King of Spades? You can't get ahead of yourself: you need to assess the situation and figure out what to do. Okay, but how? How can you...
The sunlight that normally streams through your window is gone- immersed in shade. You frown: there's no way the sun moved that quickly, so something much be blocking it...
The blimp. The King of Spades blimp.
Oh, sh*t. No, no, no-
"f*ck," you whisper, trying not to spiral. "f*ck!"
Where is he? There's another round of gunfire that makes you curl up into yourself a bit tighter. How long has it been since Levi left? Fifteen, twenty minutes? How far away is he? He's not caught up in this, is he?
sh*t. The gunfire sounds close. Is it your building, or the one next door?
Heartbeat running rampant in your chest, you inch yourself as close as you dare to your window. Slowly, you pull yourself up to the glass, trying to survey the situation outside.
Someone's in the middle of the street, someone wearing all black with a hood pulled up over their head. They're holding a massive machine gun that's spraying bullets at the apartment across the street. You hear shrieks, and someone tumbles from a window several stories up.
f*ck. It's the King of Spades. He's literally right outside.
"Okay, okay, think," you whisper to yourself, watching as the King of Spades crosses the street and heads into the apartment building across from you. He glances at his wrist for a moment before he goes inside. "Think. Just... just sit and be quiet. Sit and be... no."
Trackers. He can track you. Oh, he just looked at his wrist- does he have a screen or something? Is that how he keeps track?
f*ck. That means he knows you're here.
"sh*t," you hiss through your teeth. Will he come after you? If it's just you, then he might not. He might not deem you a threat. But then again...
What do you do? What can you do besides waiting this out?
More gunfire. This time, you don't cover your ears. There's a loud crash of shattering glass, and you look out your window in time to see someone thrown from the fourth floor. It's a woman with a gun in her hands, and her cries are cut off by thesplatof her hitting the pavement.
Jesus. Oh, no. Okay. Deep breaths. Inhale, exhale.
More gunfire, more screaming. You look back out the window again. There's blood splattered across some of the windows that wasn't there before. Your eyes zero in on the lobby- there's movement. You can hear your heartbeat in your ears as you watch, unable to look away, as people start to flee the apartment.
One, two, three people. They're all armed. They make a break for it across the street- oh,sh*t.
They're coming into your building.
"f*ck!" you whisper, but it's like watching a car crash: you can't look away. The trio of people dash across the street, but one trips over the dead girl in the street. The other two make it through, but when the third starts to get up, he's shot in the head. You nearly scream.
The King of Spades comes out of the first apartment building, gun raised. He crosses the street.
sh*t- that means he's coming into your building. He's hunting down people in your apartment.sh*t, sh*t, sh*tyou chant in your head as you race across your apartment, trying to keep your footsteps as light as possible. You can hear footsteps, and you're only one floor up: you know full well that they'll be here any second. They sound like they're in the stairwell.
You have no idea if they'll keep going up or if they'll try to find refuge in a random room, but you're taking no chances- especially since the King of Spades has a tracker. You slide open your kitchen window, eyeing the dumpster that's in the alley.
"f*ck," you whisper. It's not that high up, but still...
Gunfire again- this time, so close that it feels like you can smell it.
f*ck it. You put one foot up on the window ledge, brace yourself, then jump.
It's not a far drop at all, but you still feel your stomach clench as you plummet downwards. There's only a few bags in the dumpster, but it's enough to cushion the blow, and your feet have barely touched down when you're scrambling to hoist yourself out.
You pull yourself out of the dumpster, and punctuated by the sound of gunfire, you race down the alleyway. You turn a corner right as there's an explosion, and after a moment of deliberation, you throw yourself into the office building next door, avoiding windows and going straight for the stairwell.
He's got a tracker, but in all likelihood, it's two-dimensional. Which means while he can likely see where you are, he probably can't see how high or what floor. Maybe it comes from his blimp... that would make sense.
You go up one flight of stairs, then a second, and you wait. Some gunfire, but it stops after a minute. You count to one hundred in your head before you edge yourself out of the stairwell and to the nearest window.
Two dead bodies in the street; no sign of the King. You look up at the sky: the blimp's moved.
Okay, good. How far did it go? Slowly, you head back down the stairs. Still no gunfire...
When you step back out on the street, the sun is shining brightly on you. There's no blimp to be seen. You wander a bit further out into the street, and then you see it: south. And it's still moving that way.
Your shoulders drop in relief. You're okay. He's gone.
You jog back to your front door, eyes skimming over the two bodies on the concrete. God, they look like they could be your age. After a brief hesitation, you reach down to the girl's bloodied body and pull the gun out of her hands. "Yuck, yuck, yuck," you whisper to yourself when her limp hand flops onto yours. "Oh my god."
Newly armed, you head back into your building. You're fooling no one, you're sure: you have no idea how to shoot a gun and aren't even sure you're holding it right. But it feels nice to have a weapon in your hands.
When you get into your lobby, you see what the explosion was: something went off in here. Bits of furniture are scattered across the blackened floors, one of the doors to a random room is blown off, and some chunks of the ceiling are falling down. You dodge around a dangling light fixture and head up the stairs to your own floor, stepping over a body as you go (which makes you gag).
Luckily, your floor looks rather unaffected. No shattered windows, evidence of explosions, or blood that wasn't there before (the floor is still stained from when Levi collapsed onto your doorstep back at the start of this whole apocalypse thing). But as you creep closer to your apartment, you realize that the door's open.
f*ck. Okay. Who...
With shaking hands, you raise the gun. Slowly, you close the distance.
Then, you hear, "Bees, for f*ck's sake, please say you're here."
The gun falls from your hands. You immediately step into your doorway, eyes scanning your apartment, and sure enough, Levi's standing there. He's in the kitchen, one hand on the window ledge- he must've seen that it was open. Did he just get back.
His eyes meet yours, and the amount of panic that's on his face makes you want to cry. The panic melts away almost instantly and is replaced by relief. "I'm okay," you get out, moving towards him as he crosses the kitchen to come to you. "Are you okay? Are you-"
You've barely gotten the lastokayout before Levi's got you in his arms.
You've never hugged someone this hard in your life. You're sort of afraid you're going to choke him out as you cling onto him, trying to blink back the tears of sheer relief that are forming in your eyes. Levi exhales hard, pulling you in as tight as he dares.
The hug lasts for all of five seconds before Levi pulls back. For a moment, you're confused, but then Levi's raising a hand to your face and he's kissing you.
The adrenaline rush hits you like a train and your hands scramble to find something to hold onto so that you can kiss him back. After a few moments of confusion, your hands find their way to his shoulders, sliding over so you can pull him closer. Levi's got one hand threaded through your hair so that he's got control over your head and the other on your hip.
It's chaotic and it's messy and it's perfect. Levi's kissing you with a pressure that feels almost bruising, but you don't care- you're so dizzy with relief that any other emotion is negligible.
Then, Levi's pulling away, and he's gathering you into his arms again. Your arms slide over his shoulders and you pull him into you, burying your face into his shoulder. His arms go tight around your waist and he clings to you like he's never going to let you go.
You feel like you need to say something- anything. "I'm okay," you whisper, your voice wavering. "You're okay. I'm okay."
He sighs, something heavy and painful. "I saw the blimp too late," he mumbles.
"No, you didn't. I'm okay," you insist, trying to stop the faint tremble in your voice. "He never found me. He didn't find me."
Another exhale. You're sort of swaying side to side now, rocking in place. You might have bruises tomorrow from how tightly Levi's holding you, but you don't care, and you don't want to ask him to lighten up.
Levi's voice is shaky as he murmurs, "I left you alone."
"Levi, I'm fine. I'm okay-"
"No." He pulls back, bringing his hands to your jaw. His gaze is so intense that his grey eyes almost look silver. "No. I promised you, you shouldn't have been alone. And I said never again. And I left you alone."
"You couldn't have known that would happen," you protest feebly, covering Levi's hands with yours. "You couldn't have known, Levi. It's okay."
He sighs, thumbs stroking over your cheekbones. "I thought you'd be safe here," he mumbles. "I'm sorry."
Your heart feels like it's simultaneously breaking and swelling. Weird as hell. "Levi," you say firmly, squeezing his hands, "you can't predict the future. I'm okay. You- you wanted to give me alone time. It's fine," you insist, frowning at him. "I'm okay. I handled myself."
Levi stares at you for a moment. Then, he murmurs, "never again. I promised you that and I meant it. I'm never leaving your side again."
"I can work with that," you agree, because that's a promise you're totally okay with him keeping. "Together."
"Together," Levi agrees, and he pulls you back in.
This time, the hug is less demanding, but no less warm. It's so nice just to hold him and to be held, your nose buried in his shoulder and his arms around your back.
A thought occurs to you. "I must smell like sh*t," you say weakly. "I jumped into a dumpster."
Levi pulls back. "Couldn't have told me that before I hugged you?"
"Hey!"
"I'm joking. You jumped out the window?"
You nod, pressing your hands to your face. "And I got a gun," you add, gesturing to the dropped weapon outside of your door.
Levi stares at it for a moment, then goes to collect it. "How'd you..." he pauses. "This is good. Bullets?"
You shrug. "Not really sure how to check."
Thankfully, Levi knows, and you watch him pull something out of the gun and then slide it back in. "Some," he confirms. "Better than nothing. What happened?"
The adrenaline that had been keeping you alert for the past ten minutes finally starts to wear off. You jump into a quick retelling, which really doesn't take much, but it gives Levi time to close the door, put the gun away, and come back to you. "Not much to tell," you conclude. "And you? Did you find anything?"
Levi shakes his head. "Never got far enough away. Made it pretty far, then looked back for the blimp and saw where it was. Ran back here."
You exhale, letting your shoulders drop. "You see the lobby?"
"Yeah. Scared the sh*t out of me."
"Hopefully it'll scare off anyone else." You reach for Levi again and he sinks into you as you hug him. "We're okay. You and me."
His arms snake around your waist. "You and me," he mumbles. "We're okay."
You stand like that in your living room for a while, hugging each other and rocking back and forth. It's still early in the day, but suddenly, all you want to do is curl up in bed with him and never let him go until you fall asleep. f*ck- you're supposed to meet Erwin tomorrow. This might be the last day you have with him anyway.
"I should clean myself up," you murmur, extracting yourself from Levi's arms. "I probably stink."
His lips twitch. "No more than usual."
"So I still smell like vanilla and roses? Good to know."
He rolls his eyes. "Sorry I never picked up anything."
You wave him off. "It's fine. We'll make do. Besides, we're supposed to meet Erwin and Hange tomorrow. We only need enough for today, and then we can coordinate, I guess."
"Right." Levi's grey gaze meets yours. "Tomorrow," he echoes.
"Yeah. Came up fast."
"Feels like we just got rid of that f*cker yesterday."
Now it's your turn to roll your eyes. "It'll be good to see Hange," you insist. "I hope they're okay."
"They're fine," Levi dismisses. "Hange can handle themselves. Erwin probably tricked ten different people into sacrificing themselves for him so he could win the games."
Your lips twitch. "Only ten? I thought you'd aim higher."
His smirk mirrors yours. "Fine. Fifty."
"Much better. Okay, stop distracting me. You're not going to like me much if I smell like garbage," you insist, making your way to your bathroom. "We can toss the clothes I'm wearing- I'm too lazy to do laundry."
"Need help?" Levi asks.
You're about to say no. But if this is really going to be your last full day with each other before you have to join up with the others and try and beat the last few games... "Sure," you say with a cheeky grin.
Levi pauses, and you watch with delight as his ears start to turn red. Clearly, he hadn't been expecting you to say yes. "Seriously?" he asks.
You shrug. "You've already seen me naked. Sure, the help could be nice. I mean, I could change my mind or-"
"Too late," Levi interrupts, and you grin when he sidesteps you to head into your kitchen. "I'll warm up some water so you're not stuck with the cold sh*t."
God, you love him. f*ck- that's a strong word. Don't say that. "Thank you," you chirp brightly, sliding into your bathroom.
Your bathroom isn't huge, by any means, but it was large enough for a bathtub, which you endlessly appreciate given the situation. 'Showers' (if you can call them that) have consisted of the bathtub, a large container you can fill with water, and one of those large water tanks that Levi dragged up. It's set up on a stool and has a small spout that you can open and close to let water out, and you normally just fill cups up with that water and use that to rinse yourself and your hair off. It's not frigidly cold, but it's not warm either; not that you can afford to be picky.
You strip yourself of your clothes, not bothering to close your bathroom door, and you fold them all and set them on the floor. You set yourself up in the tub, sitting so that your back is towards the door. You lean over the edge to fill your container with water, then grab the bar of soap. Only your feet and legs really came in contact with garbage, but you'd rather just scrub all of you.
You've just finished cleaning off your legs when you hear a knock. "Can I come in?"
The fact he still knocks, even when the door is open, is really cute. "Yep," you chirp, spilling water onto your legs and watching soap suds run off you. "Warm water?"
"Warm water," Levi confirms, and you turn your head to see him entering with a bucket. His eyes meet yours and he very pointedly doesn't look anywhere except at your face as he sits down next to the tub. "Can I..." he trails off. "Are you going to do your hair?'
You nod. "I am, yeah."
"Can I?"
"Yeah, go for it. If," you add, "you can guess which one of those bottles goes first."
You point to the array of possibilities on the side ledge of the tub. Levi blinks. "Is that a trick question?"
"No! Why would it be?"
"You don't just use one?"
"Why would I..." you trail off, then remember the bottle of3 in 1that you've seen in the cupboard. "It's a miracle your hair is as nice as it is when you use the stuff you do," you scold, handing him the first container in your routine. "Genuinely, a miracle. Imagine how much better it could be if you actually did it right."
"Seems like a lot of work," Levi complains, pouring a cup of warm water over your head.
f*ck, that feels nice. "It's worth it though," you insist, wiping some stray hairs out of your face. "We can-oh."
Levi's fingers sink into your scalp and the urge to melt into the floor of the bathtub hits you like a truck. "So that's how I can shut you up," he murmurs, almost sounding amused, and you grumble in response. His fingers massage shampoo into your hair and you let your eyes flutter shut. "And men say women are complicated."
"Men are stupid," you complain, and you hear Levi chuckle as he continues what he's doing.
It's so intimate and so gentle and just sonicethat you think you could swoon. Levi's incredibly attentive and insists that you just sit there and let him take care of you- as long as you can tell him what product comes next and how to use it.
So you do, and you manage to fully relax. It's a bit nerve-wracking, being naked in front of him, but Levi doesn't make any mention of it, and if he stares, it's only when you're not looking. He finishes up with your hair and even takes a towel and starts to pat it dry. "Did you do your body yet?" he murmurs.
"Some," you admit. "Waist down, mostly."
You glance him; he's staring at you. The grey of his eyes resembles storm clouds. "Can I do your arm?" he asks quietly.
Ah. "Okay," you agree softly.
Levi takes the bar of soap from you, and very carefully, he runs his hands up and down your mutilated arm. The pinkish skin is stretched and twisted in weird ways and the hole in your hand still looks as vile as always, but Levi doesn't seem to care. He's exceptionally gentle.
He does your back as well, and you wonder how inappropriate it would be to ask him to do your chest. You don't have the guts for that. "Are you good?" Levi murmurs.
You hum. "Yeah. Thank you, really."
"Anytime. Do you want to get dressed?"
Here goes nothing. "Do you want me to get dressed?" you get out.
Levi pauses. You look to him; his ears are pink. He stares at you for a moment, like he's trying to make sure you're serious, and you can feel your face flushing with heat. sh*t. Did you misread this? Maybe your desire to make the most of this day together has blinded you, maybe he's actually-
"...you don't have to," Levi settles on, his cheeks starting to gain a bit of color.
You pinch your lips together, trying not to smile. "Okay."
You shift in a way that reveals your chest to him more than it was before, and you don't miss Levi's eyes darting down and then straight back up. "You'll want- towel. Towel first, then..." Levi trails off.
"Then?..."
"You're such a tease." Levi stands up. "Let me grab you a towel," he says, setting some of the things he was using aside. "Then, I'll- you can meet me in your room."
You feel like the sun has teleported to exist inside your chest. You feel insanely warm. "Alright," you agree. "In our room."
He looks back at you one last time with a quirk to his lips, then leaves. He comes back a moment later with a towel, then leaves again, and you lift yourself from the tub to dry yourself off. You dry your hair as best you can, then wrap the towel around your body and tiptoe out of the bathroom.
When you get to your room, Levi's pacing. You can't help but smile. "You okay?" you ask. "Nervous?"
He spins to face you. His eyes skim over you. "Not nervous," he says stiffly.
"Your body language would disagree. And your ears are red," you point out.
Levi claps his hands over his ears. "No, they aren't."
Your smile widens. "Uh, you know- we don't have to..." you pause.We don't have to do anything, I don't want to put any pressure on you, maybe I'm crazy.So many things to say, and for once, words are failing you.
Levi's shoulders sink. He steps towards you, hands rising to cup your jaw. "I want to," he murmurs, thumbs rubbing over your cheekbones. "I want you."
Oh. Well, that solves that, then. "Could've said that earlier," you complain with a grin. "Then I'd be less nervous."
"I thought it was obvious."
"Nothing about you is obvious. You're so hard to read sometimes."
"If I kiss you, is it more clear?"
You grin. "Only one way to find out."
Levi smirks, then leans in. You settle your hands on his hips, sliding your fingers under the edge of his shirt so you can feel the heat of his skin on yours. You're grateful for the skin-to-skin contact because when Levi kisses you, it feels like you definitely need some kind of anchor.
It's unfair, you being completely naked and just wrapped in a towel while he's still fully clothed, so you pull at his shirt. Levi's quick to oblige, pulling the t-shirt over his head. "f*ck's sake," you say out loud. "You're insane."
He truly is. How the definition of his muscles have survived the diet you've been on, you'll never know. "Says you," Levi says with a scoff, dragging one finger along your collarbone. "Do you know how hard it is not to stare at you every second of the day?"
"Says the one that looks like he was carved from stone," you shoot back, reaching out with one of your hands to touch his chest. Your fingers run along the scarred lines from the shark bite. Less red and angry than when you had to stitch him up, but still prominent. "You're gorgeous," you find yourself saying.
"You can't call me that," Levi mutters, and you don't get a chance to protest before he leans back in, kissing you.
You protest anyways, pulling back. "I can and I will," you insist. "You're incredible and you're gorgeous and you're so attractive that it's literally unfair and-"
"Enough," Levi complains, and he kisses you again. But he's smiling against your mouth, so you think he appreciated it, and you smile back as you kiss him hard.
As happy as you'd be to kiss him all day, your mind has been wandering since that night in the hot springs. You bump your hips into his and nearly gasp- you can feel him, he's hard already. Jesus. You want him in your mouth, which is never really a thought you've had before- with any man, really- but there's something about Levi that just makes you want to make him feel good.
You nudge Levi back until the backs of legs hit the bed, and he sits down. You break the kiss so that you can reach for his belt. "Can I?" you ask, hesitating.
"If I ever say no to that question, shoot me," Levi says, and you giggle as you grab at the leather. Levi helps, unthreading the end of the belt, and you pull it off. "Safe word?" he murmurs.
It's a nice thought. You ponder it for a moment, then suggest, "pepper spray?"
Levi stares at you incredulously for a moment before his lips split into a smile- a small one, but still a smile- and he leans back in, kissing you gently. He snags your bottom lip in his teeth and you nearly whine. There's an ulterior motive for kissing you, though; you feel him grab for your towel and pull it away in one tug.
You don't even think to be shy; you're too focused on Levi. You unbutton his cargos and when he lifts his hips, you work them and his boxers down his legs. Levi's co*ck finally springs free and your mouth f*ckingwaters.
He's pretty. His co*ck is hard, slightly curved, and glistening at its head. You don't know what you expected, but from feeling him in the springs, you expected him to be big. Not this big, though. And this thick? Jesus.
You realize you've been staring, and you settle yourself onto your knees between his legs. You could use your hand, sure, but with the state of your hand... you'd rather just use your mouth.
God. What if you're bad at this? What if-
"I'll talk you through it," Levi mumbles.
He's going to talk to you for once? You won't protest. "Okay," you agree. "Promise?"
He huffs, his lips twitching. "Yeah," he says, and you smile slightly as he leans back slightly. "Yeah. Tongue, no teeth. Gentle."
Okay. He's going to talk to you. Tentatively, you take him in your good hand, and you kiss the head of his co*ck.
Levi's head falls back immediately. "f*ck," he mumbles. "You're such a talker that I know you're going to be good with your mouth."
The praise goes straight to your core. You steel yourself, licking up the side of his shaft before you take some of him into your mouth. Levi's moan is breathy and quiet but still there, and it's encouraging. You take him a little bit more, seeing how much you can handle before your gag reflex kicks in.
He's huge, so it's not a surprise that you can't take all of him. But Levi doesn't seem to be complaining. "Do that again," he breathes, and you take him as far as you can again. One of his hands finds purchase in your hair, fingers threading into your damp locks. "Holy f*ck."
Determined, you bob your head. "And right there- gentle, gentle-f*ck,"Levi groans as his co*ck hits the back of your throat."f*ck.Oh, f*cking hell."
Every word he says is music to your ears. His fingertips press into your scalp just the slightest bit harder as you bob your head again, the head of his co*ck hitting the back of your throat again. Your gag reflex is nearly killing you but you don't care- you care about the little sounds you're getting, the hisses and the moans and the cursing and-
You take him as deep as you possible can and the whine that leaves Levi's throat is unmistakable. If dopamine can be triggered by sounds, you would swear on your life that the sound of Levi whining is one of them.
"You're good, you're really f*cking-f*ck."His groan is deep and you can feel your puss* twitching in response. Levi tries to say something else, but you take him as far as you can and his words are lost in another whine as he throws his head back.
f*ck. You want more of that, but holysh*tis this hard. Your jaw sings in pain- he's thick ashell-and your eyes are watering.
Levi's hands thread through your hair, and for a second, you think he's going to push you down. But instead, he pulls your head up, and his hands slide to your jaw. "Don't push yourself," Levi says, his voice hoarse. His thumb wipes away some of the water forming in your eyes. "Are you okay?"
You nod quickly. "Yeah. Yeah, just- you're a lot."
He scoffs, but his ears have color to them. You smile weakly, and Levi kisses you. Hard, like he wants you. And you're not one to ever protest or argue that, so you kiss him back.
Levi pulls you, and you rise up from your knees and settle into his lap, thighs spread and arms settled over his shoulders. You kiss him hard, fingers skating up and down his spine, and Levi pulls you closer into him, his hands drifting down to your ass.
f*ck's sake.You grind your hips into him, his bare co*ck rubbing up against your cl*t, and you gasp into his mouth. You don't think you've ever wanted anything this much in your life. "Levi, please," you say breathlessly, breaking away. "Please."
His eyes are dark and intense andf*ckyou're soaked. "Please what?" Levi murmurs.
You could die. "f*ck me," you get out, nearly choking on the words. "Please."
Levi's lips crash against yours, and then he's switching places with you, pushing your back into the mattress and clambering onto you. He's kissing you like he can't get enough of you, like he's trying to suck your soul out of your body, and you don't mind in the slightest.
You're so wrapped up in how hungry Levi feels for your mouth that you nearly cry out when his fingers touch your puss*.
Oh,f*ck.You feel soaked and ridiculously sensitive, and when the pad of Levi's finger brushes over your cl*t, you moan into Levi's mouth. You can feel him smirk against your lips as his fingers explore, swiping and poking and-
When he pushes into you, you break off the kiss just to groan. His fingers aren't as warm as the rest of him and the cooling sensation inside you nearly makes you squeeze your legs together. He's gentle, but it's clear that he's working you open- trying to get you ready.
He slides in a second finger and you let your head fall back into the mattress. "f*ck, Levi," you breathe. "Oh my god."
Levi kisses your cheek, then your jaw, and then he sucks gentle at the skin right below your ear and behind your jaw as his fingers stroke your insides, driving weird tingling sensations up your body. After a minute, he slides them out, and then something much larger than one of his fingers is pushing at your entrance.
Oh, sh*t- this is happening. You exhale, hugging Levi a bit closer to you, and you focus on one spot up on the ceiling above you.
He's not going- he's hesitating. "You still want to?" Levi murmurs.
"Yeah," you breathe, toes curling into your mattress. "Yeah, please."
There's a pause. Then, Levi's co*ck nudges at your entrance. Nudges a bit, and then a little more. Andouch,holy hell. You blink rapidly, trying to focus on something else, but the only thing you can concentrate on is Levi's co*ck pushing at your entrance andf*ck-
"Hurts," you mumble, and he stills. "But- slow. Please. Slow."
Levi hums to indicate he's heard you. He stays there, still only barely inside you, and in an effort to distract you, he starts kissing your neck. Your eyes roll into the back of your head-f*cking unfair-and you dig your fingernails into his back.
Slowly, Levi inches into you. You scrunch your eyes shut becausef*ck,it definitely hurts. It's not intolerable, but it's a weird type of pain that you've never really felt before. Like a pushing kind of pain but also a stretching kind of pain, but also this tiny little rumble in the pit of your stomach that doesn't even feel like pain at all.
He's very patient with you. Levi seems rather content with mapping out your neck and jaw with his lips and tongue as you squirm slightly and settle into his girth. It feels like he's splitting you in two, which you're not used to, but as you force yourself to relax, the pain subsides.
Okay. Okay, this isn't so bad. "Okay," you whisper. "You can move."
Levi hums, and he pulls his hips back, then slowly works himself forward again until the head of his co*ck hits a spot inside you that makes you gasp. He seems to like that, because Levi does it again, and again, and then you're feeling such a weird assortment of feelings in the pit of your stomach that you can't even vocalize what you need.
To his credit, Levi still takes it slow until you manage, "faster," and he picks up the pace. It's not bad, not bad at all- it's weird but it's pleasurable and you find yourself whimpering as Levi thrusts into you.
However, you'd never realized how close you brought Levi to finishing when you'd sucked him off, and before you know it, Levi's stuttering. Both in pace and in his voice. f*ck, you want to suck his co*ck again just to hear more of those noises.
"f*ck," Levi breathes, and there's a tremble in his voice that indicates that he's close. His forehead presses into your collarbone and you have to bite your lip to keep from whimpering when he hits that spot inside you that makes you feel like jelly. "Where?..."
Where to cum.Without thinking, you blurt out, "mouth."
Levi lifts his head. His eyes are blown out so wide and his pupils are huge- you can barely make out all the grey you've grown to love.
There's a scramble. Levi pulls out of you which nearly makes you whine, but then you're pushing yourself up off your back and onto your knees and Levi's got a hand around his co*ck and you nearly lunge at him to take him in your mouth.
Levi groans, and both of his hands go to your hair, fingers sliding across your scalp. You bob once, then twice, and then Levi's hissing through his teeth as he hits his climax. You brace yourself, because you've heard that it's supposed to taste acidic or awful, but it's actually not that bad. It's warm but more or less tasteless, and you swallow every drop of cum that Levi gives you.
When you pull back, you cough into the back of your hand, throat stinging from the sudden rush of oxygen. "You okay?" Levi asks hoarsely, hands still on your head. "You're good?"
"Mhm," you hum, sitting back on your heels. "Yeah. You?"
"Yeah," he confirms, and Levi raises your head slightly and angles your jaw so that he can kiss you. You're surprised he wants to kiss you, but you're happy to oblige, and you melt into him. If it wasn't for his hands holding you up, you'd be sinking into your bed.
He kisses you once, twice, then pulls back. "Can I?"
"Can you..."
Levi's eyes flicker down, then back up. "Eat you out," he says. "Please."
Oh my god."You- you don't have to," you get out, squeezing your thighs together.
"That's not how it works," Levi murmurs, and his lips press against your pulse. You gasp without meaning to. "If you don't want me to, I won't. But only if you don't want me to. I want to," he adds, raising his head so that his eyes meet yours. "I want you to finish."
You can see it in his eyes. "You want to?" you question softly.
His gaze is so intense that you can't decide if you're more likely to melt into a puddle or burst into flames. "Yeah," Levi murmurs. "Been dreaming about it."
Jesus, your corethrobs."Okay," you choke out, and Levi goes back to what he was doing: kissing his way down your chest. He spends some extra time on your breasts, sucking at the skin around your nipple light enough so that it won't bruise. "You've been- dreaming," you manage as he goes down your naval. "About this."
Levi hums in response. He's at your naval now. "Mhm."
His fingers brush at the insides of your thighs. You can't help it; you're squeezing your legs together. "What about this, specifically?" you push, if not just to stall him and force him to talk. You're nervous.
"You, talking," Levi says. He's kneeling at your legs now, fingertips gently running along your thighs. He's not trying to pull your legs apart.
"Talking," you repeat. "That's not new."
"No," he agrees, kissing your knee. You tip your head back to glare at the ceiling, trying to force yourself to relax. You let the tension seep out of your lower half, and Levi pulls your legs apart. "Just you, talking, while I do this," Levi murmurs, kissing the inside of your thigh. "Listening to you trying to keep it together."
Bursting into flames now feels like the more likely of the two options. "I can talk, if you want," you offer quietly. "I don't know about what, but I..."
You trail off. Levi's close; you can feel his breath against your puss*.Christ,you must be dripping. You don't think you've ever been this turned on in your life.
"Just talk me through it," Levi whispers.
"Okay," you agree, your shoulders dropping into the mattress. "I can-"
Your next words are lost to the sensation of Levi's tongue pressing against your folds. A gasp is ripped from the depth of your lungs and suddenly you need something to hold onto; one hand flies to cover your mouth and the other digs into the blanket.
You've never felt anything like this before. "Oh my god," you get out, and when Levi's tongue pushes at you more, you can't help but sound like a broken record."Oh my god."
Euphoric is the only way to describe how you feel. Any lingering thoughts or feelings of nervousness, vulnerability, anything of the sort are long gone. Levi's lapping at you with a gentleness that makes you want to cry and the heat pooling in the pit of your stomach might make you pass out.
Levi pulls back, and you gasp. "Talk to me," he murmurs.
He leans back in and when his tongue pushes at you again, you think your mind goes blank. "O- okay, okay," you ramble, fingers curling into the bedsheets. "Oh my god, Levi. You're insane, this is insane- just like that," you moan as his fingers curl into your thigh. "God, right there. Right there."
He's moved away from gentle and has now started pushing a little bit more. Kissing your core with increased desire, need, want. Any insecurity you had is long gone; this feeling is mind-blowing.
"Right there," you echo, eyes fluttering shut. "Just a bit more-yeah,Levi, f*ck,yes-"
It's kind of worrisome, how quickly Levi has driven you to your breaking point. The feeling of his tongue on you is right up there with things that are indescribable, and you can feel your thighs starting to quiver. If he keeps this up...
"Almost," you breathe, back arching up off the bed. "Almost, just-f*ck!"
Levi slides a finger into you and that's that: your climax consumes you. It's like white hot light has struck your vision and consumed what's left of your brain. You don't even have thoughts to quantify the feeling that's coursing through you, only that it's incredible and mind-numbing and holysh*tyou've never felt anything like this before.
When your mind clears just the slightest bit, just enough for you to start coming down from your high, you realize Levi hasn't completely stopped. He's moved his mouth to the inside of your thigh, nibbling at the skin there, and his finger is still gently coaxing you through your org*sm. He doesn't stop until your hips sink into the mattress again.
There's a moment where Levi lifts his head and you both just stare at each other, panting.
"Good?" Levi asks, breathless.
You nod, licking your lips. "Yeah," you say. "Good."
A beat.
You're tired, yes. That org*sm was way stronger than you were anticipating and it definitely took a lot out of you. But if that's what org*sming from oral was like... you want to know what it's like to do that from Levi's co*ck.
You prop yourself up on your elbows. Your eyes slip low to stare at Levi- he's still hard. Slowly, you lift your eyes back up.
Levi's lips twitch. He saw you looking. "Yeah?"
All you can manage is a nod. You hope he can see in your eyes how badly you want him.
He must be able to, because within a second, he's back overtop of you. You throw your arms over his shoulders to pull him close and you can't help but cry out when Levi pushes into you. You're still sensitive from that first org*sm and you can feel your legs trembling when he sheathes himself all the way inside you.f*ck,he's big. "Come on," Levi murmurs, his forehead pressing against yours. "Talk to me."
"You're good," you choke out. "I'm just- sensitive, I'm-oh!"you cry out when he slides out and hammers back in. "Oh my god, Levi, right there."
He listens, and Levi hits that same spot inside of you again, and again, and again. When you whisper to him to go faster, he does, and before you know it, white spots are dancing across your vision again and you feel like you might explode.
One of your hands slides down to Levi's bicep, squeezing hard. Levi grabs your hand in his and laces your fingers together. He presses your interlocked hands into the mattress next to your head, and when your eyes meet his, there's so much care in his gaze that absolutely doesnotmatch the strength that he's thrusting into you with, and it's jarring.
"f*ck," Levi breathes. "f*ck, you're perfect."
You can't even gather words. You're just trying not to fall apart as quickly, because you want Levi to finish too.
He slows slightly, then murmurs into your cheek, "want you on top."
How the hell are you supposed to say no to that? You push up slightly and Levi helps you both roll so that he's on his back and you're straddling him. He slips out of you, so you lift your hips up and reach down to help align him with your entrance.
You sink down, and you and Levi moan in unison. Levi's fingers dig into your hips, hard enough to bruise. "f*ck," you choke out as you lift yourself up, then sink back down. Oh, it's different like this. "Oh my god, Levi."
You'd thought that being on top would mean more work, but Levi's quite determined to put in effort. He lifts you slightly, then jerks his hips up into you, and you cry out. It's a different angle and it feels weird and different butf*ckdoes it feel good. He does it again and those white spots come back; you have to press your hands against Levi's chest to stabilize yourself.
Levi f*cks up into you and your eyes roll back into your head as you come undone. This org*sm is more intense than your last one, stronger- but not quite as long. It hits you sharply and then it's done, and you find yourself gasping as you collapse onto Levi's chest, not enough energy in you to keep yourself up.
Luckily, Levi's close too. He thrusts in once, then twice, and then he shoves you up. Ah- trying not to finish inside you. You summon what little energy you have left, and instead of just rolling off of him, you slide yourself back and take him in your mouth again.
"Oh,f*ck,"Levi groans, and he hits his breaking point. He curses his way through his org*sm, and this one seems to last longer than his first. Levi's hips arch off the bed as he f*cks into your mouth, spilling more cum than the first time onto your tongue. You're more prepared for it this time, and you drink him up, determined to keep this as mess-free as possible.
When he's finally done, Levi's hips drop to the mattress, and you collapse onto your back. For a moment, all the two of you do is pant in exhaustion.
You just had sex. With Levi. The two of you just had sex.
That's the only thought that crosses your mind as you lay there, staring up at the ceiling. You've heard so many horror stories about people's first times: too much pain, no pleasure at all, messy with blood. You'll have to use the bathroom to check on the blood part, but for now... you're going to soak up the moment.
"Wow," you say to your ceiling.
You hear Levi chuckle. "Sums it up."
f*ck, he was so good to you. The talking, the patience, making you feel desirable and wanted the entire time- not time for insecurities whatsoever.
Levi sighs softly. "Come here," he murmurs.
You know sex is theoretically supposed to be good cardio and good for your health- which checks out, because it feels like you just ran a marathon- but your heartbeat is going so fast that you swear you might go into cardiac arrest. "One minute," you say. "Bathroom first."
Levi murmurs something in assent that you don't quite catch as you push yourself up and off the bed. You're not expecting how...unstableyour legs are and you nearly trip as you head to the door. You feel a bit silly, caring about safe sex procedures after you and Levi just had... well, unprotected sex, but you'd rather not have to withstand a UTI while fighting for your life. Besides, you probably have plan B somewhere in that massive stash of yours, if you're really desperate.
After you relieve yourself, you come back to your room to find Levi's shifted slightly. He's got his head resting on one of your pillows and nothing more than a thin sheet covering him. He looks up when you come in. "You okay?" Levi asks, shifting over slightly in your bed.
You shrug, then nod as you move to join in. "I'm okay," you say honestly, sliding in next to him. "Legs are weak as hell, though."
"Good." Levi raises his eyebrows as an invitation, and you smile as you settle yourself into his side, draping an arm over his chest. "You were incredible," he murmurs, kissing the top of your head. "In case I didn't make that clear."
You hum happily, kissing his bare chest. "So were you," you reply. "You were perfect."
He hums in response, and you let your eyes flutter shut. He's warm.
The two of you stay like that for a long time. So long, actually, that you think you fall asleep at one point, because when you finally lift your head, there's no more light coming in from your bedroom window. Levi hasn't moved either: he's got his arm around your back and his head tipped against yours.
You could stay here forever, you think. But your calf is cramping up, and you kick your leg out to stretch. "Hungry?" Levi mutters.
"No," you say, but your stomach betrays you and growls not even a moment later. "Damn. I guess I am."
He kisses your hair. "Let me go make you something."
"Gee, fine. Twist my arm," you say sarcastically as Levi rises from your bed. "Thank you."
You watch as Levi pulls on his boxers before he leaves, and once he's gone, you pull yourself out of bed. Your legs are still bizarrely weak and you feel like you're shaking with every step you take- which is ridiculous. How dare he have this effect on you.
You pull on underwear, pajama bottoms, and a thick sweatshirt to bundle yourself up, and you meander out into the kitchen. Levi's got his back to you in the kitchen. He's pulled on sweatpants, but he's still shirtless. You can see the scars from his shark bite on his back.
Feeling rather like a penguin, you shuffle across the room and wrap your arms around Levi, hugging him from behind. "Hi," you mumble into his back.
"Hi," Levi murmurs, and he twists so that he can kiss your head. "How do you feel?"
"Good. Sore."
"Means I did my job."
He sounds rather smug, which makes you roll your eyes. You kiss his spine as you straighten up. "I'm going to head up to the roof," you muse. "Just need to stretch my legs."
He turns around to face you. "And you want to take on a dozen flights of stairs?"
You roll your eyes again. "I'm just..." you pause. "I want to make sure the King of Spades is actually long gone."
Levi nods in understanding. "Okay."
"You can come, if you want."
He stares for a moment, then nods again. "I'll bring your food up."
"Thank you," you whisper with a smile. You pull away from him (which is harder than it should be) and slide on your slippers on your way out the door.
The stairs definitely feel harder than they usually do- curse your weak legs- and there's really not much of a view when you give up, given that it's dark. The stars are out in full force though, and you can see the moon off in the distance.
The King of Spades blimp is on the outskirts of town, which makes your shoulders slump in relief. With a happy sigh, you sink to the ground, sitting yourself down. It's not as cold as you anticipated, and there's a gentle breeze, which is nice.
Levi joins you a few minutes later. He passes you a bowl- nothing too special, just some soup- but the warmth is welcome and you thank him as he sits down with you.
The two of you sit in silence for a bit, which is fine by you, because one: you're eating, and two: you don't really know what to talk about. Is it always this awkward after sex? Not awkward, exactly, but...
You and Levi haven't talked labels. You don't really care to, to be honest. You know there's so many stages of a relationship: talking, dating, boyfriend/girlfriend, engaged, and then married (ideally in that order). There's micro-stages too, big steps that you take with your partner, and this feels like one of them. Sex for the first time. But the urge to label the two of you still isn't there.
And why would it be? Labels might be nice in a functioning society, but there's no one around to provide a hypothetical label to. Why would you need one? He's happy, you're happy. Well, you assume he's happy.
There's a clunk as Levi sets his bowl down. "Can I ask you something?"
"Of course you can," you say easily, setting your own half-finished soup down. "What's up?"
"You asked me once, if I believed in love."
"On the roof of the beach resort. Yeah, I remember."
He pauses. There's something heavy about the way he murmurs, "do you believe in love?"
The quiet night is suddenly filled by the sound of your heartbeat in your ears. Your eyes flicker to him, but he's looking away, so you pull your gaze away just as quickly. "Yeah," you say, trying to keep your voice from shaking. "Do you?"
"I don't know."
Oh. Well, that's less promising. "Why not?"
Levi doesn't reply right away- you can't say you expected him to say anything back anyways. But then he says, "I don't really know what it looks like."
"Neither do I," you say. "But I believe in love because I'm... I'm full of it, I guess. I think I... I try to give people the type of love that I would love. And there's so many kinds of love- romantic, platonic, friendship. You can show love in so many ways to so many people."
"But you're only..." he trails off. It's like he's trying to understand you, and it makes your heart melt in your chest. "You're only giving it."
You shrug. "Yeah. Still believe in it though, even if it's more giving than receiving."
You look at him when he doesn't say anything. He's looking at you now. "Giving more than receiving," Levi murmurs, repeating what you told him. "You enjoy that?"
Yesis the right answer. "Not always," you say, which is the real one. "It's hard. Scary."
"Scary."
"Yeah." You're in your head now, words bubbling up to your tongue. "Yeah, it's scary. It's scary to love and not get it back because then it's just- I don't know, humiliating? Embarrassing? It's hard putting yourself out there. Maybe that's why I really- maybe that's why I didn't, for a while," you admit, thinking of your dating history (or lack thereof). "I tried and it hurt, so I stopped doing it as much. Because it's... it's safer not to. I don't know, it's hard to explain."
You're not looking at him anymore. Talking about love with Levi is making your chest hurt. "Love's hard to explain," you murmur, just to cover up your tracks a bit. "But I want to believe in it. I really do. You know, it comes back. Love comes back."
"You said that in the Jack of Hearts."
"Yeah. Maybe giving it is hard, but I'll get it back." It sounds a bit weak, but you continue anyways. "Love comes back. I'll get it back."
He hums. You want to hold his hand.
You're still trying to figure out why he asked in the first place and what's going through his head. If you could just pry open his skull and peer in, see all of his thoughts and what's going on...
"I think I love you," Levi murmurs.
Your heart just... stops.
Love's a strong word, but you use it plenty. You use it with the books you adore, with the food you eat, with your friends. You've talked to him about this before: you have a lot of love to give and life's just too short to keep that to yourself.
As much as you use it, it's never something that's been attributed to you very often. You're okay with that, sometimes.
But now...
"I thought you didn't believe in love," is all you can come up with.
Levi's quiet for a moment. Then, "I believe in you."
It feels like all of the stars in the sky are singing. Maybe not singing, but buzzing. Filled with energy and buzzing, making tiny hairs rise on your skin and making your heart swell in your chest. It's overwhelming.
Your mouth opens to reply, but Levi cuts you off. "Don't say it back."
You falter. "What?"
"Don't say it back, just for the sake of it."
"It wouldn't be just for the sake of it," you say quietly, a bit hurt.
Levi glances at you, then sighs. "Sorry. That's not what I meant. But I... I'd rather you pick a time where it feels right for you. It'd be better for both of us."
Arguments rise on your tongue, but you pause. You think you get where he's coming from. If you tell him you love him now, it just feels like you're saying it because he said it, even if you're not. Even if you've been feeling this way for a while and you've just been worried about scaring him. He'd rather a different moment, when it'll feel more genuine for him.
Okay. You get it. "Okay," you agree softly. "Okay, I will."
Levi's lips twitch- something like a very small, tiny smile- and he looks away. The moonlight is making his skin glow and you think he's the most gorgeous person you've ever met.
"So that was..." you trail off. "That was the right moment for you?"
"Mhm."
"Can I ask why?"
He shrugs. "Not really sure." You wait, hoping he has something else to say, and he does. "I used to think that the easiest thing would be to separate myself from you," Levi murmurs. "And I couldn't do it. So, now, the easiest thing is being with you. I think I... life doesn't have to be hard to be good. You don't have to struggle with everything to feel like you're allowed to be happy. Some things are allowed to be easy, and being with you is."
Oh. You think you might melt into the roof.
"Life is easier with you," he reiterates, and you think you can see the stars in his eyes- or maybe just flecks of gold. "You make it easy. Comfortable."
"That's sweet," you whisper, because that's all you've got.
Levi shrugs. "It's the truth. Nights like this remind me of it."
Nights like this. "Nights like this?" you ask quietly.
"You and me and nothing else." Levi takes your hand. He's looking at you with something in his eyes that looks a lot like adoration. "Nights like this," he repeats, and he brings your hand to his lips, kissing your burnt knuckles. "Just us."
Just us.You like that.
The stars are bright tonight. Normally, there's no stars to be seen, not directly in the city. Too much light pollution. Maybe that's one of the perks of the city wasting away- more nature. Like those elephants you saw the other day near the hot springs.
Stars. You wonder how far away they are. Do they really direct the course of your life like some people say? Like the day, time, and place you were born- can the stars really align in such a way that they can predict and help guide the course of your life?
"We don't have to."
You frown at him. "Don't have to what?"
"Meet Erwin tomorrow."
That surprises you. Your frown deepens, and you bite the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from talking, hoping that Levi has an explanation.
Eventually, he sighs. "We've got plenty of time on our visas," he murmurs. "At least twenty days worth. Other people have been taking these things down. There's only three left. We can wait it out."
Ah. A thought that's been plaguing you for the last two weeks- ever since Erwin divided out the games and saidgo."I've thought about it a lot," you admit begrudgingly.
Levi hums. "Share."
"It's just..." you exhale. "I hate that Erwin assigned suits to us like tasks, as if the only way these games could be defeated is by us," you grumble, frowning at the stars. "And yeah, we've taken down a few, but some have gone down on their own. And Iknowwe're good, I know we can handle ourselves and we've had a lot of success with these games, but..."
Inhale, exhale. "I feel selfish," you confess quietly, looking to Levi.
He's almost studying you, watching as your expression changes. For once, you don't look away. "We're lucky," you whisper. "We don't have to do any games right now. We can just have each other and spend every day like this and not worry about anything."
"That's not selfish."
"It is. I just- Falco, in the Queen of Spades game," you say with a sigh. "If we hadn't been there, what would've happened to him? Would he have lived? But because we were there, we made a plan, and we saved him and brought down the game.
"It's a whole moral philosophy, I think." Your eyebrows furrow as you try to remember. "Something about if we have the ability to do good, whether we have a right to share that good with the world. Because technically, no, we don't have to do anything. But you can't deny we're good at this, and..."
You trail off. Are you making any sense? Levi is just staring at you, something akin to gentleness in his eyes.
"I keep thinking about the Jack of Hearts," you admit. "I don't regret it," you add quickly, before Levi can misconstrue anything, "but I wonder if we had helped or participated more, if more people could've lived. If we could've figured out it was Bertolt sooner. I just... if we can help people, I want to. Innocent people- people who don't deserve to die."
One of these days, you'll be able to connect your thoughts a bit more coherently. It always feels like you're rambling nonsensically, but Levi never stepped in to stop you. Does he agree? Disagree? Did any of that even make sense?
"I guess that was just a really longwinded way of saying yes, I want to go tomorrow," you say weakly. "Sorry."
He stares at you for a long while. Then, he nods. "Okay," Levi agrees.
You blink once, then twice. "You don't have to come."
"I'm coming." Levi kisses your knuckles again. "Never again, we said," he murmurs. "We're doing this together. Three more."
You wonder how large a heart can get before it becomes a problem. Enlarged hearts are a thing, right? A dangerous thing? Because your heart feels like it grows in size with every single thing that Levi says to you. Enlarged hearts- is that a physical condition or genetic? Could you find a book on it?
He stares at you and those enchanting grey eyes make you soften. "Three more," you echo, squeezing his palm.
His lips twitch, and Levi's gaze shifts to look out over the city. He looks peaceful.
I love you.
He said that. Did you imagine that? You don't think you did.
Smiling to yourself, you shift a bit closer to Levi, lacing your fingers together. Your knee bumps against his and he bumps your knee right back, which makes you smile. He's right, you think- about life being easier. There's no aspect of your life that hasn't been positively impacted by Levi's presence.
You love him. You know you do. You think you've known for a while.
Maybe if the universe had stepped in and told you that no, you'd never get another night like this, you would've said it back.
