Are Japanese boys neurodivergent or is it just their culture? A teacher asks r/japanlife if they should tell their student they have a touch of the 'tism. (2024)

CONTEXT: /r/japanlife is a sub focused on foreigners living in Japan (not traveling or visiting, the mods will straight up ban you), allowing them to discuss their lives, ask questions, and connect with others. One thing you should know is that there is always a baseline of toxicity present in the sub, to the point that another Japan residents sub was created, /r/japanresidents, to escape it. This means drama is just a post away at all times. And in this instance, one post has a teacher asking the sub if they should inform their student that they're on the spectrum, and the sub replies that their "diagnosis" is unwarranted.

A user feels that they have one job only, another disagrees

Don't. It's not your job to fix him it's your job to teach him English.

You see a person struggling. Don't help them, it's not your job to make their life easier. I agree, not everyone should give out medical advice, and one should not easily believe such advice from a random person, but your suggestion is just beyond awful.

Let me help you, there is nothing good that can come from this. Nothing. The absolute best case is the student asks for another teacher. Since OP is likely teaching adults and paid for the lessons she's requested for that means a drop in income for her and an alienated student. That's the best case. The more likely one is student drops all their lessons and asks for a refund of anything they've paid but not used. When asked about it they explain what our altruistic friend told them resulting in disciplinary action against OP likely meaning all their students will be reassigned and they'll need to find a new job. That's the likely case. more follows

Have your read the post though?

OP said she's leaving, none of your "best" or "worst" cases can happen.

Oh, well, as long as OP gets to drop a neurological and developmental disorder “diagnosis” under the guise of helping an 18 year old kid who is paying her for English classes and then peace out the next day from responsibility, everything's peachy then isn't it? sh*t take there.

Let's say I see a person suffering from the same condition as I do. If they get to recognize their condition and get a proper treatment their life would be better. I know it from my own experience. What would be the reason not to let them know?

In this instance you would be abusing your professional relationship with a client of your workplace, who is also an 18 year old kid, in an attempt to diagnose him with a disorder on the basis that he has similar patterns of behaviour as you do...more follows... There is just zero consideration for anything else besides you wanting to “save” a kid from a disorder he may or may not have. It is grossly, grossly inappropriate.

Whoa man, may be it's you who need to see a specialist for the lack of empathy. Calling human beings "dispensable" and thinking they are some kind of robots who must not step outside their box is not normal and in no way acceptable. I'd like to continue the discussion but that's not possible unless you cut your arrogance.

It was the OP's post and circ*mstances that was under discussion hence why I replied “in this instance”, but since you've decided to deviate from that the conversation does indeed end here.

OP responds to the initial comment and is mobbed by downmarseys

I appreciate that. However, he thinks that his problem with English is a lack of understanding; it's not. His understanding of English is excellent. His problem is his communication skills generally, which will only improve with an understanding of autism. I doubt that any of his Japanese teachers, doctors and so on are going to tell him he had autism, so I do feel morally obliged to.

Your going off a hunch. Many Japanese men especially those young in their late teens in general can exhibit this same behavior you described. That doesn't mean autism. Lack of social skills is just one piece of autism there is a number of other symptoms and behaviors to consider.

I appreciate this. I teach many young men who also display what would be considered neurodivergent traits in my country. However, I accept that much of this will be socialization and cultural norms. With the one young man in question, he ticks almost every box for textbook male autism.

One user even questions OP's own diagnosis

What do you mean when you say you realized you have autism? Do you have a formal diagnosis?

Yes, I have a formal diagnosis. However, prior to that, several different people suggested to me that I get tested. Once I looked into the condition, I realized that they were right.

There's a nuance here that's missing from your original post. Saying “it sounds like you might have certain symptoms of X, maybe it'd be a good idea to look into it/get tested for that just in case” is massively different to saying “hey so I think you have X!”. It sounds like you want to do the latter, and people here are rightly warning against it. Regardless of your own situation, please don't attempt to armchair diagnose someone else. That isn't even a Japan thing, it's advice for life in general.

In this case, BOTH are inappropriate on multiple levels. OP is the student's ENGLISH TEACHER, not their therapist/psychiatrist. Diagnosing, or suggesting a student has autism is inappropriate in EVERY instance in this case. Made even worse by the absolute lack of cultural awareness. DO NOT DO IT. I don't care if this is "constructive" advice, it is PRACTICAL advice, and encouraging OP to do anything else is wrong, and potentially harmful to both her and her student. There are HUGE social stigmas against ANYTHING that deviates from social hom*ogeneity in Japan, and you're saddling that student with anxiety over something he can 1) be ostracized for and 2) may not even have. more follows

I don't see how this may be harmful. Someone kindly and wholeheartedly suggests I should get checked for autism. Which I do. Outcome 1: I really have autism. Yikes! But thanks for telling, now I know myself better and can work around it. Outcome 2: I don't have autism, great! But thanks for telling anyway, it would suck if I had it and left it undiagnosed. Where's the harm?

Japan's attitude towards mental health is very different from the West.

Another feels that, culture be darned, OP's idea is wrong

Japan or "the West" (amorphous concept without a standard definition) aside, this isn't appropriate anywhere in the world.

Really? Being told I had autism by lay people, and subsequently getting a diagnosis, hugely improved my life. It put everything into perspective for me.

And in a hom*ogenous society like Japan, it could have an entirely different effect. What you're failing to grasp is that there is absolutely NO situation in which YOU telling him or suggesting to him that he might be neurodivergent is appropriate. NONE. NOT. ONE. He doesn't need a white knight to rescue him, he needs a capable English teacher. If you're not, then your sole responsibility to him is to let him find one who is.

Could you explain what Japan-specific effect it would have?

Just about everybody who has some experience and understanding of Japanese society already told you.

So you can't explain it

Finally, a person asks if they are just shy

so being introverted/shy is being neurodivergent?

I've given a very brief overview of his situation to make my post readable. To do that, I have focused on the more traditional neurodivergent traits he has. However there are many more. He isn't shy as such; he just says that he doesn't know what to say. Communication clearly doesn't come naturally to him as it would for a neuron typical person.

Doesn't know what to say in English or Japanese? If English then yeah, most 18 year old Japanese kids who are good at English don`t have that much vocabulary. Only if they've lived abroad. In Japanese? Japanese people don't talk easily to each other in case you haven't noticed. Including teens who are like teens elsewhere who are still learning social skills including conversational skills with people they aren't familiar with. Just because you go to school or college it doesn't mean the people you are with will be familiar to you. And Japanese people do cliques and other closed circles as a matter of culture. Not being mean but you don't seem to have much knowledge of the country you live and work in.

With OP being rather level-headed, the drama was kept pretty tame, although there are some more one-quip-wonders inside the original thread. Of course, while they may have good intentions, a layperson deciding to diagnose someone from a different culture seems a bit too large of a leap. And some flair to go with it are "imagine how would you feel if your teacher told you, you have autism", "poor eye contact is unfortunately common in Japan 🥲", "Grow up, and I don`t say that because of your self-described autism", "so being introverted/shy is being neurodivergent?", and "they need to educate the poor backwards Japanese about WW2" (somewhat editorialized). I hope you enjoyed another round of Japan drama.

https://old.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/1czi3gf/are_japanese_boys_neurodivergent_or_is_it_just_their/

44